Getting Distance

Destressing, whatever.  So a situation has you on the fringe, try this first.  Try to remember something that really upset you when you were 5, 7, 11, 15 whatever.  Focus in on what happened, how you felt, the end result.  See that you had to really work at it to remember the incident, and then know that this incident will feel like that one soon.  That's the meaning of this too shall pass.  The goal is to get older and wiser, so take care of yourself, don't take risks that could cause you to miss the goal.  Dying young just leaves you with less experiences, good and bad.

Porn and your marriage

Short answer: porn will ruin your marriage. Long answer: porn is created by men for men. You never see the women really orgasming, having a good time, or doing anything but being treated like a blowup doll. Thats not real, but porn watchers try to make it real in the bedroom. It's no fun having sex with a porn watcher. They are not trying to please you, share an experience with you or express love in any way. They are trying to fulfill a script they having been watching with you as a tool to do so. With porn comes masturbation, which also robs you of your spouses sexual desire as they are releasing their sexual needs without you, so you don't really know what the true sexual need of your partner is. If your partner is also online chatting, now you have another problem, they are sharing and fulfilling their fantasies with someone else. You are now being robbed of a rich fantasy love life. You are left with a spouse who thinks you are boring and frigid because they are off having sex with others without you and you are being treated like a blowup doll in bed, so you really are turned off by your partner.
Solution: Still working on that. First step was to ask for a moratorium on porn indefinitely. Second was zero tolerance policy on chatting with others, thats just downright cheating in my mind. Last is lots of talking, what do you like, what are your fantasies etc. So far still bad and it's been two years, but I'll keep you posted

Gratitude list

A gratitude list is a phenomenal way to keep yourself in check when things feel unreal. Have as many tabs as you like, to start have one for you, one for work, one for family and branch out from there. Each entry should be written as such, "I am grateful for this blog beacause it allows me to express myself and share my knowledge with others who seek it.". So the shell is "I am grateful for _____ because ______.". Try to be as specific as possible. Read your lists every day to start your day off with positive feelings. Begin to look for items to add to your gratitude list all day, each day. You will start to feel more tolerant of life and the people in it as your list grows. As you proceed through your list, find a single good thing about each person that brings you frustration and add it to your list. Grow your list, find peace.